Schools out for the Summer!

First and Last day of school.  Goodbye first grade hello second grade!

Anthony, 

I hope one day you look back at pictures like these and know just how proud of you I am!  This year was a tough year, but you have come so far this year.  Your confidence and personality shine brighter than the sun.  You are a people person, a social butterfly.  Its hard to believe that just a few years ago you were a shy little boy who always kept to himself.  Its true though.  

The other day you brought home a book called "My Important Book".  All of your classmates wrote down things that are important about you.  Here are a few things they wrote to you.  

You are important because:

You love your little brother.

You always make 100s

You like to tell jokes

You are the smallest in class.

These things are all true.  Even though you and Alex don't always get along, you love him and he knows it.  Someday all the little fights over toys will be forgotten and you guys will see just how much you need each other.  Trust me.  Like I always tell you, he is the only brother you have, you will always be his big brother.  You almost got all 100's.  I think I count on one hand the times you didn't.  This is amazing Anthony.  You would get so upset when you were sick on practice test days, and still you rocked them!  So proud of you for that and you should be too!  Jokes should be your middle name.  Enough said.  And yes baby, you are the smallest in the class.  And you might always be.  But always remember that big things come in small packages.  You are going to do BIG things in life.  Just you wait and see.  The last sentence in the book says " The important thing about you, is that you are YOU!  You have really become your own this year.  You have your own style, your own opinions and your own ideas.  You truly are you and I love every part about you.  You rocked first grade.  I am so proud of all the hard work you put in this year.  I cant wait to see what you do next year.  

I love you more!

-Mom

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In the morning

I love this song! It is perfect for the way I'm feeling today  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

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Trying but Tired

I'm trying to be understanding, trusting and patient.  I'm trying to understand that liver disease is one that happens on its own terms. I might get worse today or in a year.  I'm trusting my doctors with my life.  Believing that their decision to just watch things is the right thing to do.  I'm trying to be patient as I travel the road to transplant.  I promise. I am trying.

Today marks my second year on the liver transplant list.   But instead of being all these things, today I'm angry.  I'm angry that how I feel on the inside is not how I look on the outside.  I'm angry that I have to ask for help.  I'm angry that isn't anything the doctors can do.  My family is going to have to slowly watch me get sicker. Waste away right before their eyes.  I'm angry for all the grief I will cause them.

David asked me last night why I wouldn't just be happy to be healthy now.  I don't want to sound ungrateful.  I know that the time I have now is a gift and I always try my best to live these days to the fullest. But I grew up worrying about my parents.  I tried my best to take care of things when there was no one else to do it.  I gave up a lot of my childhood.  I grew up to fast.  And I don't want that life for my boys.  I want them to be able to enjoy all the things life has to offer them.  I don't want them home on a Friday night because I'm sick.  I don't want them staying up late trying to cram in school work because they spent the afternoon taking care of me or visiting me in the hospital.  Either way they are going to have to deal with these things, but I feel like the sooner it happens the easier it will be on them.  They are young, forgiving and so much more understanding now.  And honestly its getting harder and harder to reassure them that everything is OK.

The other day I was talking to Anthony and explaining things we should pray for and things that we are better off just waiting patiently for.  He had originally prayed for more bey blades and a kite.  He asked me what I pray for.  I told him mostly I pray that my guys stay healthy and happy.  I pray that my grandpa Jim beats the cancer that is making him sick.  And that our family only strengthens and that we have a long long time together on this earth.  He then said that he was going to pray that my liver wasn't sick so I could be happy again and wouldn't be so tired when I cook dinner.

Most days I am able to make sense of the waiting.  Today is just different.  I'm tired. Lord am I tired. So Ill give myself the day to be angry.  I will be better in the morning.  Tomorrow I will be more understanding of this journey and will embrace the health I have now.  I will be more trusting in the life he has planned for me and that somewhere out there is the perfect liver for me.  And I will be more patient with myself, my family and my transplant team.  I am not in this alone.   There are 114,652 other people also waiting for a transplant with me.  

**Not a donor? Please visit Donate Life to sign up. You have the power to give life!**

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Our new spot

I know it is kinda late, but Happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there.  I hope that you had a wonderful day and got to spend it just how you wanted.  I know I did.  Some moms like breakfast in bed or a nice dinner.  Maybe chocolates and flowers.  Me, I like just spending time with my boys doing what ever it is that makes them happy, because that's what makes me happy.

I spent the morning grocery shopping.  Something I actually love doing.  And the boys came along.  Anthony was upset because I went.  He wanted to buy me flowers and surprise me.   But since I spoiled it, he snuck around the corner and met me by the banana with a beautiful bouquet.  Sweet boy.  

His birthday was the following day and since he would be in school, we decided to give him his present Sunday.  We told him we were going bike riding and hid his new bike in the back when he wasn't looking.  Then told him to get the bikes out.  Don't you know he was more concerned about the brakes on the bike than the bike itself.  Hes a hard one to impress.  Got it all adjusted, took off the training wheels and he was off.  

After lots of peddling and then playing on the playground, we decided it was the dogs turn to play.  And the park just opened its own dog park a few months back.  Chico has never been to a dog park so we were hoping no one was there.  Sure enough we had the whole place to ourselves.  I think he peed on every tree there was.  He wasn't to sure of the water fountains though, so I will have to remember to bring his water pouch next time.  Its all fenced it, and there is a separate area for the smaller dogs.  Although I wish they had  fun things for them too.  There are water fountains and misters.  Lots of shade trees. Its nice and its close to home!  And next time we will be going with the newest addition.  We are going to be fostering a Great Dane here shortly.  One big dog and one small dog.  That's how we roll.  I have a feeling we will be spending a lot of time at the dog park.  Looks like fun right?!  

Tom Slick Dog Park

**Lots to come on our adventure in fostering**

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Moms to sick

Last week my 6 year old looked at me and said "Moms cant get sick, they have to take care of everyone else!"  Of course he was sick and I had just tried to explain to him that we all had to go to bed and I was to tired and sick to read another story. I had just read though 4 books and the last one was purely out of memory, with my eyes closed.

He is right though.  Moms aren't supposed to get sick.  He also knows that for me getting sick on top of already being "sick" is really bad.  So for the most part he is pretty understanding.  Of course that night I ended up reading another 2 short stories, because who can deny a kid the gift of reading!  And now that he can read himself, I don't get to do all that much reading anymore.  I miss it.

With both boys getting older, its getting harder and harder for me to keep up with them when I am having a bad day.  It used to be that I could get them to crawl in bed with me and read or watch movies.  Simple arts and crafts stuff were good too.  But as my energy drops, theirs grows.  With school almost over, I have begin my search for summer time fun. Activities that are pretty easy to make or set up and will keep them busy for a little while.  With a little help from Pinterest of course!

How cute are these tiny little bows from The Brooding Hen? I know the boys will just love them.  Simple yet so much fun. 

                                                                            Source: allfortheboys.com via Kim on Pinterest

And I know we will be making these.  We have made them a few times already this year and each time the boys are out in the yard forever flying these.  Who knew straws could fly?!  We do, thanks to Allison over at All for the Boys

                                                                              Source: allfortheboys.com via Kim on Pinterest

Of course on days where I do have the energy, we will be at the pool because that tires them out like a charm.  And me too!  And now that they have a park right behind it, we will be there too.  I plan on having lots of picnics, even if it is only in the back yard.  And speaking of backyard, we need to get a tent so we can camp out there too!

What kinds of fun do you do with your kids when you are sick?  How do you entertain them and still get the rest you need to get better?  I would love some more ideas.  Lord knows I will need them!

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7 in 7

Another year has just slipped by.  Have I really been a mom for 7 years?  The time really does fly by when you're having fun.  This morning I watched as my little man walked up to the school doors, holding them open for a few of the kid behind him.  He turned really quick and with a big wave goodbye, he was off on his own.  I worry a lot about him.  I pray each night that the next day will be one filled with fun and love.  I pray that he isn't discouraged by his size and that he doesn't let anything hold him back.  I pray that I will have the patience to deal with his strong willed ways.  I pray he knows just how much I love him.  If I am this emotional now, I can't even imagine how bad I'm going to be when he leaves home, gets married and has kids. Not even going to think about it.  I will spend the next week reflecting at how far he has come.  He loves looking at photos from the years before.  He loves to hear stories about the things we used to do and tells me that he misses it.  But he also tells me that he loves anything we do, so hes OK with spending so much time at home as long as we are together.  He really has such a tender heart!  Love him.

Finally able to hold him!  

How could you not love this face?!

He gets his love of animals from me.

He gets his charm from his daddy :)

He is not afraid to love

Hes a great big brother!

I cant imagine my life without him :-)

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Weekend Wrap Up

Its almost midnight and it is the first time this weekend I am actually sitting in front of the computer.  It feels like its the first time I've sat all weekend.  Its not!  I am usually ready for the new week, but this weekend was just to nice to be over so soon.

We found out last week that we would not be able to adopt the dog we wanted because she was small dog aggressive and even though he thinks he is a rottweiler, Chico the Chihuahua is our first baby and that isn't a risk worth taking.  I'm so glad that the rescue puts the time into finding the right home for each dog.  We still have to do a home check, hopefully they will do it this week, because we met a lot of really nice dogs this weekend and are hoping to bring one of them home soon!

The highlight of the week was going to a blogger dinner.  It was my first time to an event like this and it was so much fun.  The bunch of ladies that were there were all so wonderful.  I was so nervous that I probably came off as a weirdo, but next time I will know what to expect.  I haven't had to introduce myself like that since, ever.  "Hi, my name is Kim..."  It was also my first time at P.F. Changs and man was the food good. The event was hosted by a wonderful lady, Lisa and was courtesy of a company called Treat.  It is a card company that will mail out your chosen and customized cards.  They have so many cards to pick from and you can even add gift cards too.  I think my favorite part is that you can schedule cards.  Considering the state of my memory these days, I am looking forward to getting a few cards done ahead of time.  That way even if I do forget, and I will, I will be covered!  And no I'm not getting paid to tell yall this, I am just super excited to have found something that I can really use!  I had such a great time.  And hopefully I wasn't a complete dork.

Now I have to prepare for a hectic week at school.   I really need to get my lab work done this week.  Should probably do it tomorrow, but a hospital just doesn't sound like that much fun to me.  Procrastination at its best. I guess first I should worry about packing lunches.  I hope you all had a great weekend!

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30 Days done...almost!

It is MAY!  I don't know how that happened so fast.  But April flew by in the blink of an eye.  The 30 days 30 post challenge is officially over.  And I am really disappointing that I missed 2 days.  Yes we had 2 skip days but I missed another 2.  Not out of procrastination or laziness.  I mean I was out of town for a funeral and no computer = no writing.  But I did better than I did the last time, I think I missed a whole week on the last challenge.  But that is life, you win some and you lose some.  I am getting better at actually finishing things! Sad and exciting all in one.  I'm almost ready to take on a 30 day photo challenge, but not quite yet.  As things are about to get really exciting around here!  Ill save that for another post.

I am really bummed April was Donate life month and I didn't share all that I wanted to.  Like I said, it just flew by.  But everyday is an opportunity to share and encourage others to register as organ donors!  How about the fact that right now there are 114,169 people on the UNOS waiting list.  In a post from March 26th there were 113,594 listed.  That is 575 people in one month.  Horrifying!  If you are reading this and are not registered, please answer me this!  WHY?  Why are there not more donors?  I just don't understand!

So much exciting things going on in the next week!  A new family member, a night out with new friends(gulp).  And all the fun that my family provides all on its own!  Hope everyone is having a great week!

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