I absouluty love this song. Although when it is the first song you listen to in the morning it is bound to make you cry and bring on emotions that you didnt know were so close to the surface. Not that I did that, because that would make my whole day seem all sad and emotional. Then Id feel like listening to pearl jam all morning and then other songs will come on that remind of things Id rather like to forget and Ill get even more emotional. Yeah, thats what would happen. If I did that. So I'm just going to stop right here!
October 26, 2011
October 20, 2011
Wisdom? More like pain in the...
***Warning. I may or may not be whining this whole update***
I hate whining, but seriously! Today I called my hematologist because I am going to be having my wisdom teeth taken out. The reason I have to have the procedure cleared though him is because he is the keeper of my blood and things like my gums being cut open need to given the go ahead by him.
When I had the mass taken out of my neck, my liver biopsy and the countless endoscopies I have had all I've had to do was stop taking my blood thinners for a few days and then resume afterwards. Silly me, though it would be that simple this time around. NOT! As soon as I heard the words "your going to have to go back" I knew what he was going to say...Lovenox. Yes, I was right. The dreaded twice daily injection.
Lovenox and I go way back. This is the result of my first injection way back in 2008 when I was just diagnosed. Its crazy to go back and read entries from back then. Looks like I will have to go back on the shots for a full week before I go in to do my wisdom teeth. And then can go back to taking my pills afterwards. That is as long as everything goes according to the plan. I have to call my Transplant nurse tomorrow and make sure my liver doctors are OK with it as well. Thankfully I have been very stable and haven't had any infections. But there's always a risk I could get one afterwards and I've been told that when your liver isn't working properly infections spread like wildfire. So, who knows what the clinic will add to this. I guess we wait and see. But I guess I've added band aids and more alcohol wipes to my grocery list. And I need to figure out how I am going to pay for the Lovenox. Hopefully its not still the couple hundreds dollars it was last time. Either way, the though of doing this again makes my legs hurt. Maybe this time Ill inject in my stomach? (Which is where they wanted me to do it last time while I was insanely pregnant). Doesn't sound any better does it? Maybe not. Anyone want to take a shot at me?
October 18, 2011
Week in the Life wrap up
If you have been reading this last week you were probably overwhelmed by all the pictures of random pieces of my life. Halfway though I kept thinking, why in the world am I taking another picture of this or am I really going to share this photo with the whole world? And then I would hit post. This is me and my life. It was an eye opening week, that's for sure. I learned a lot about myself, my boys, my marriage and my lifestyle.
One major thing that stands out to me the most is how envious I can be of others. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and know that I have been blessed beyond words. Being a mom and wife is hard enough. But doing it and living with this liver disease or any illness is more than I can handle some days. I'm usually very good about not comparing my life to others. But during this week as while looking in to everyone lives, I couldn't help but realize all that we are missing out on. The spur of the moment trips to the park, to the ball fields and dance classes. I'm missing out on all these things. My boys are missing out on all these things. After my transplant I am going to have a lot of catching up to do! And that is fine by me.
What else...
Trying to get a photo with David in it is impossible. It must be where Alex gets his dislike of the camera from.
I need more photos of me doing things with the boys. And David. Actually a picture of all 4 of us would be nice!
I am really bad at sticking to my schedules and lists but really good at making them. A lot of it comes from being sick. Some days we eat at 5 and some days 6. Other days I don't make what I planned for dinner because I don't feel well. But the important part is we do eat right? And we can always eat healthier!
I need more one on one time with each of my guys. Not just David and I, but the boys on their own too. They are so different when the other one isn't around!
For a while there the family would tease me that I always had my camera in my hand or make comments that I'm not a real photographer so why have such a big camera. As much as I love the camera on my phone, I always always regret not having MY camera on me. I miss my baby!
Another thing I didn't realize I missed so much was music. But when I sit down to write I always have music. And this week I sat here so long that I actually got to really enjoy it. And it wasn't just the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song either!
There is so much more. But Ill stop here. So many moments I look back now and think, man, I should have shot that! Next time! Yes there is so going to be a next time! I hope that those that stopped by will come back every now and then. I know I will be stopping by all the wonderful blogs I discovered this week! Thank Melissa for the adventure!!
October 17, 2011
A week in my life: The weekend
OK I'm going to be honest and say that by Friday I felt like just saying 5 days was enough. My photos seem pretty boring and I didn't want to bore everyone with the random things we do all day. But then I started thinking about my 30 days photo challenge fail and decided even if the pictures I had were not the most amazing, I was going to finish all 7 days.
The only problem was after the 5K my body just about gave out on me. Just another sign that I need to pay better attention to it. After a week of only a few hours of sleep it all caught up to me. So this post is a little later than usual. And since most of the weekend was spend in bed, these photos are all edited though a program on my phone. I kinda feel like I'm cheating putting the two together but I'm a rebel like that :)
Saturday was the Vital Alliance Donate Life 5K. Its not very often you find the whole house up at 6am. But that day I walked out of my room and my brother had every ones coffee cups filled and ready to go! The Sunrise that morning was amazing. I guess my eyes were still foggy because out of 5 shots, this one was the best.
When we got there we made our way though the crowd and got our bags! Bright green. Did you know that green is the awareness color for Organ Donation? Some might not think its the prettiest color but I love these little bags. And we wear them when we go on bike rides. They are are great bag/reflectors!
I didn't even think to take pictures during the walk. Last year I had a ton. David pushed the stroller and I snapped away. This year I pushed and talked. My sister walked with me this year. As well as a new friend. Well I shouldn't say new because we have been chatting between Twitter, FB and our blogs for I think almost 2 years now. I was a little star struck. If you guys don't know Stacy, you are missing out. I have never met anyone with a heart as big as hers. Stop by Kids Stuff World and you will see what I'm talking about! Stacy and 2 of her little ones walked with us. After the walk we joined Anthony and the rest of the group at the park for a little play time! The best part of the walk was the end when Alex got out of the stroller and ran to the finish line. There was a line of cheerleaders cheering him on! He loved it!
David reminded me that last year I said we were going to run the race. One of these days we will! But I was just thankful to still be healthy enough to finish it! David had to work late the night before so he got to stay and play on the playground, so I reminded him that he has no room to talk ;-) And look I even got a picture of him. I love this man!
On the walk back we stopped to check out the lily pads and take a picture. Anthony wasn't in the best of moods and was in tears by the time we got back to the car, but Id like to think it was a really nice morning. Being on the transplant list and living with liver disease or any for that matter, is a lonely road. But being surrounded by hundreds of others who know what I'm going thought or have gone though it already reminds me that I am not alone! Family time together, supporting me and Donate Life is just what I needed!
5 mins into the ride and everyone was asleep. And since you can really see it in the picture, I got a video:)
When we got home, everyone was starving and exhausted. We all went straight to our beds and stayed there till the middle of the afternoon!
We did manage to go grocery shopping and got our painting pumpkins. Anthony is excited to have his cousin Ace over to paint pumpkins with him! I think it was the first night I was the first one in the house to go to bed! I was that tired.
Sunday morning was brought to me by Peets Coffee and some magazine browsing. Mom mad a huge breakfast. Which after such a tiring Saturday we all very much appreciated!
The rest of the day was spend lying around. Melisa had orientation for her new job! Way to go Bug. I'm so excited for her! Before I knew it we were gathered around the table having dinner. Nothing to fancy. Tuna subs and fries. But I was to tired to make a big dinner. I know it doesn't show here but Alex was thrilled to get to eat at the big table. Guess its time to get a booster seat. Until now the boys have enjoyed eating together at their table. They like it there. And the floor in the kitchen is more kid friendly so I never pushed it.
Thank you all for sticking with me this week. I have learned a lot though this project. I have done days in the life, but never a whole week. I will post later about all the things I found our lives later. But for now I just have to say thank you to Melissa over at Adveturoo for putting this together! It was so much fun!
The only problem was after the 5K my body just about gave out on me. Just another sign that I need to pay better attention to it. After a week of only a few hours of sleep it all caught up to me. So this post is a little later than usual. And since most of the weekend was spend in bed, these photos are all edited though a program on my phone. I kinda feel like I'm cheating putting the two together but I'm a rebel like that :)
Saturday was the Vital Alliance Donate Life 5K. Its not very often you find the whole house up at 6am. But that day I walked out of my room and my brother had every ones coffee cups filled and ready to go! The Sunrise that morning was amazing. I guess my eyes were still foggy because out of 5 shots, this one was the best.
When we got there we made our way though the crowd and got our bags! Bright green. Did you know that green is the awareness color for Organ Donation? Some might not think its the prettiest color but I love these little bags. And we wear them when we go on bike rides. They are are great bag/reflectors!
I didn't even think to take pictures during the walk. Last year I had a ton. David pushed the stroller and I snapped away. This year I pushed and talked. My sister walked with me this year. As well as a new friend. Well I shouldn't say new because we have been chatting between Twitter, FB and our blogs for I think almost 2 years now. I was a little star struck. If you guys don't know Stacy, you are missing out. I have never met anyone with a heart as big as hers. Stop by Kids Stuff World and you will see what I'm talking about! Stacy and 2 of her little ones walked with us. After the walk we joined Anthony and the rest of the group at the park for a little play time! The best part of the walk was the end when Alex got out of the stroller and ran to the finish line. There was a line of cheerleaders cheering him on! He loved it!
David reminded me that last year I said we were going to run the race. One of these days we will! But I was just thankful to still be healthy enough to finish it! David had to work late the night before so he got to stay and play on the playground, so I reminded him that he has no room to talk ;-) And look I even got a picture of him. I love this man!
On the walk back we stopped to check out the lily pads and take a picture. Anthony wasn't in the best of moods and was in tears by the time we got back to the car, but Id like to think it was a really nice morning. Being on the transplant list and living with liver disease or any for that matter, is a lonely road. But being surrounded by hundreds of others who know what I'm going thought or have gone though it already reminds me that I am not alone! Family time together, supporting me and Donate Life is just what I needed!
5 mins into the ride and everyone was asleep. And since you can really see it in the picture, I got a video:)
When we got home, everyone was starving and exhausted. We all went straight to our beds and stayed there till the middle of the afternoon!
We did manage to go grocery shopping and got our painting pumpkins. Anthony is excited to have his cousin Ace over to paint pumpkins with him! I think it was the first night I was the first one in the house to go to bed! I was that tired.
Sunday morning was brought to me by Peets Coffee and some magazine browsing. Mom mad a huge breakfast. Which after such a tiring Saturday we all very much appreciated!
The rest of the day was spend lying around. Melisa had orientation for her new job! Way to go Bug. I'm so excited for her! Before I knew it we were gathered around the table having dinner. Nothing to fancy. Tuna subs and fries. But I was to tired to make a big dinner. I know it doesn't show here but Alex was thrilled to get to eat at the big table. Guess its time to get a booster seat. Until now the boys have enjoyed eating together at their table. They like it there. And the floor in the kitchen is more kid friendly so I never pushed it.
Thank you all for sticking with me this week. I have learned a lot though this project. I have done days in the life, but never a whole week. I will post later about all the things I found our lives later. But for now I just have to say thank you to Melissa over at Adveturoo for putting this together! It was so much fun!
October 14, 2011
A week in my life: Thursday
Its Thursday and day 4 of A week in my life. Be sure to stop by Adventuroo and see what others were up to today! You know you want to!
5:45 BEEP BEEP BEEP. I really hate the sound of my alarm!
6:00 Time to wake the beast and pray hes in a good mood! YAY! He smiles!
6:30 Mmmmm coffee. But before I can even have a sip, Anthony announces he wants to ride the bus. That should go by in 15 mins. And that he wants a quesadilla for breakfast. I fly around like a crazy woman. Pouring coffee, getting him dressed, making his food, getting myself dressed, shoes, teeth and hair brushed, bag packed and we are out the door.
6:49 Made it to the bus stop! Just in time for Ant to tell me he should have just got dropped off to school because its still so dark and creepy out! Um I dont think so son! Youre getting on that bus!
I talked to a mom at the bus stop. She was telling me about a house that was broken in to. The house...is right behind me! I walked home freaked out and paranoid. Looking behind me every other second!
7:15 Coffee and some catching up with the DVR. SVU. * like*
9:00 Drop Alex off with Grandma and its off to the hospital for an appointment with my Hematologist.
9:15 Trying to find parking in the hospital parking lot is a joke.
9:20 Find a spot. Mom said shes going to wait in the car. I finish plucking my eyebrows. I dont know why, but the only time I ever do my eyebrows is in the car...
9:37 I check in and am now $35 less
9:45 They called me back and we go though the routine. Weight? No comment. But I dont have a fever and my BP is 115/58. Not to bad!
9:56 Still waiting on the Dr. *dislike*
10:03 Dr H comes in. My INR is 2.7 and I dont have to change my doses! He goes though my notes from the transplant clinic. Checks my lungs, my stomach, my ankles.
1:11 All done and making my next appointment. Yes $35 for 8 mins of chit chat and a rubdown. Next year our copay goes up to $40. I got a hug from my lab tech who I wont see anymore since the Dr is moving to a new office. I told the recptionist I will be sure to still stop in and say hello when Im there. It was kind of sad. They were there for me when I was pregnant and scared. They prayed with me when things were so unknown. They know my boys and always ask how they are doing. Awesome bunch of ladies.
11:00 we are home and after a quick lunch I plop down infront of the computer to catch up on a few things.
A little Jack to set the mood
12:39 Bills and menu planning all in one.
Checked the time to Saturdays 5K. Live Life than Give Life. Are you an organ donor?
Because there are 112,415 waiting for a second chance
Once pacific islander at Methodist with Budd Chiari and a MELD of 11-18. THATS ME!
2:30 Pick up Alex from Grandmas and walk to the bus stop to get Ant. I love that the InLaws are only 2 blocks away. Of course Alex fell asleep on the way home. Time for homework and snack.
3:42 My body had just about given up on me so I crawled into bed with the laptop and watched mondays Terra Nova that I missed thanks to some baseball game! Im a sucker for dinosaurs.
This is when things get a little cloudy. I had to take some meds for my pain, so I have no idea what time everything happened. We had dinner. I gave the boys thier baths. And got back in bed. Anthony read his story in bed with me. Its funny how fast he can fall asleep after swearing hes not tired! I caught up on "New Girl" and some other shows on Hulu. Then Alex came to bed and was bouncing off the walls thanks to a late nap.
I think it was about 11 when David got home. I warmed up his dinner and was back in bed by 12.
October 12, 2011
A week in my life: Wednesday
Today is day 3 in A week in my life over at Adventuroo. And it is brought to you courtesy of my ever so handy camera phone! Yes it was a lazy day today. But its speech day for the little one and so that means, its a day full of cleaning, playtime and thats about it.
But Im determined to stick to it. Tomorrow I will try to be a bit more creative. I didn't keep tabs on the times. BUT, there were smiles this morning.
Slept in again!
Apples and Hot chocolate for breakfast!
Thinking hes so cool with his coffee mug! Its the little things :)
After we got back from dropping Ant off at school everyone one was still sleeping so I messed around with the new Facebook timeline. Cute right!!
Hugs and kisses and hes out the door. Again. Bye Daddy!
Refill!
Looks whos awake. Say hello Bug and Mom! I have a house full of family right now. So be prepared for random faces.
I enjoyed a little Mickey time. I think the dog was pretty into it too!
After dinner we had a mad cowboy running around. And yes, hes wearing his boots too. With a basketball outfit. Hes classy like that!
We had spy training before Speech. Uncle Jeff sorta made it though. Auntie did a front flip and so she wins even if she hit the wall and pulled on the the
For Speech we played sink or float! Alex is a water baby so anything that he can splash and get wet is good times. And the dog loves water just as much, clearly.
Time to go get Anthony. He must have had a good day because he even held my hand when we walked home! YAY!
Hey look! My little man was the only one in the class who got a 100% on his math test! Way to go buddy. He was so proud of himself. And he earned a nice shiny quarter for his money jar!
After a walk the boys were actually still getting along. Posing for one last picture with funny hair! Guess its time to hit up the barber!
So that was our day. Nice and calm. Only one fight and a ton of smiles! This mom is gonna crawl in to bed now and pass out!
A week im my life: Tuesday
Its day 2 at Adventuroo and here is our second day of A week in my life!
I woke up early today thinking it would be nice to make Ant something warm for breakfast. Instead of his usual pick of cereal. Things didnt go as planned...
6:00 Rolling out of bed after hitting snooze for the last 15 mins. Ugh. Every night I swear I will go to bed earlier. And every night its past 12 before I'm crawling into bed.
6:10 Time to wake up the boy. Why is my nose running? PAUSE for bloody nose courtesy of blood thinners. Stuff tissue up nostril and continue!
6:15 Anthony is not excited to see me this morning. As a matter of fact he spent the next 10 mins telling me that I woke him up to early and should have let him sleep
6:25 He finally realized that his plate was right in front of him. Of course he was upset because he wanted cereal not eggs.
6:33 Poor kid is just not in the mood this morning. He was mad because I didn't give him jammies last night and now he is cold. But if you see last nights post, he dressed himself. Long pants and long shirt. He must have gotten hot and stripped down in his sleep! At this point I'm at the end of my morning limit and tell him that he is more than welcome to wake himself up and make his own breakfast from now on. He quietly finished his breakfast!
6:43 I am craving some oats so I cut up some apples to go with it. Apples make everything better!
6:53 Look who finally finished eating and getting dressed...Hes going to hate me one day for sharing this. He is not a morning person by any means. Maybe some cartoons will help?
7:14 Oh my apples! Forgot about them! Got the apples done. Lunch packed and we are out the door at
7:21.
7:27 The sunrise was amazing. One of the best things about not being able to drive is that I get to notice all the little things!
7:30 Anthony was in a much better mood by the time we got to school. He always is! I watched as he walked up to the door. And was reminded of just how tiny he was when the bigger kids held the doors open for him!
7:44 I get home and settle in. Remember my oats that I started an hour ago! Almost forgot about them. Nothing like warm, thick oatmeal and Pinterest!
8:00 Better check on the little one and make sure D is awake! This kid can sleep! There is actually 2 blankets under him and then my lava lava on top. Both boys sleep with my lava lavas. I think some people call them sarongs!? Anyways. They are nice and light, I think that's why the boys covet them! Back to the computer to finish yesterdays post.
9:05 Alex is up and crying for cereal. I know I just said he can sleep, but boy can he eat too!
9:35 Time to say goodbye to Daddy! And that means its time to get to work. Alex wants to watch Mickey Mouse. Whats new.
9:50 I finally finished my post. Hit publish. And as much as I just feel like going back to bed, I know its not gonna happen. I miss morning naps.
10:12 My kitchen is a mess. Why are there cookbooks and papers everywhere? I was going to put them back where they belong but ...
What the heck happened in here? The other day I was talking to David about buying a set of holiday dishes but I had no space for them. He then proceeded to show me that my kitchen cabinets have more junk than dishes in them. There is no time like now to get it done! And maybe with the extra space I can go shopping!
10:23 Finally finished cleaning out the cupboard and clearing off the counter tops. Alex was playing so quietly so I figured I would get some more online things done.
11:24 I sent out emails, posted on Facebook and twitter and took a picture too! I am doing the Donate Life 5K again this year and there are 4 now 3 days left to sponsor me and help me raise money for the cause! Considering I am on the liver transplant list myself, this is one of the few ways I try to give back ever year. Last year I raised 500. At this point I had 40 and by the end of the day I was up to almost 200 I think!
11:31 Does anyone with an Ipad have this game? Its actually my bothers, but Alex loves this game. Its like patty cake with a giraffe. Its so hard and addicting. I laid on the couch for a hour just trying to make this darn thing happy. But I'm not quite fast enough! Sad panda giraffe.
12:24 Gone are the days of walking out the door with no make up on. Dark circles and red patches have turned me into a girl! Nothing wrong with it, but most people who know me know that I'm not a make up type of girl. Or I wasn't anyways. The night before, David came home and said I looked different. Refreshed. As soon as I washed my face for bed, he figured out my trick!
1:01Time to go to the hospital for my labs. Yes this kid is giddy with excitement. He loves the hospital.
1:06 To bad he passed 5 mins into the drive. And slept though the whole thing!
1:28 Hello needle. I am so used to this by now. My sister thinks its funny that everyone in the office knows me and asks about the boys! I think its funny she was able to take this pic and not pass out!
1:31 Stopped by the courtyard. Isnt it beautiful!
2:17 Back home and me being the genius that I am decided Id take a quick nap...
2:40 Time to go get Ant from the bus stop. I always take him a water. This time I switched it up and put it in the mailbox when I check the mail. Then let him "check the mail". He was confused...very confused. But it lightened the mood!
3:38 Homework time. Anthony gets frustrated with me because I keep erasing and asking him to write better. Afterwards its snack time! Alex wakes up just in time for some Nutella toast!
4:27 Time to burn off some of that energy. I spotted a caterpillar in the grass and that turned in to the most awesome part of the day. The boys were so intrigued by this thing. And its so cute to hear them say it. What is it? A caddipitter, tapidipper, callipidder? Alex settles for worm, easier to say! And Anthony make it a home in his old bucket.
4:45 The caterpillar was tired so they left him alone to play so B Ball. That lasted a whole 5 mins before it was back to check on their new pet. Which them tuned ugly and they were sent to time out!
5:10 I love how fast they forgive each other! Back to being best buds in no time.
5:21 My bother Jeff has so graciously decided to cook dinner this week, but us ladies helped him out. Melisa and I were in charge of potatoes! While mom cooked the chicken. Wait who made dinner ;-)
5:58 Cinderella!!! The floor needed a good scrub.
6:37 Alex and Anthony enjoyed dinner. And Chico laid in wait for someone to drop something! Alex is rocking those boots! True cowboy right there!
7:15 Running a few mins behind, but that doesn't mean bath time cant be fun and fast! Bubbles were everywhere.
8:00 Bedtime and I was drained. Anthony read his reading homework and then I read to him. I thew some clothes in the washer and upload to photos for todays post. The fun part was getting them off my camera, the little camera and my phone!
9:13 Oops, I forgot my meds! AGAIN! Better late than never!
10:00 And I forgot to put the clothes in the dryer. Ok done. I had to check my watch because David would be home soon and I hate to have the dryer running when he is ready to go to bed.
10:50 I hear the garage door as soon as I open the dry to take the clothes out. Thew them on the couch real quick. I meant to fold them right away but ended up making David something to eat. And catch up with him.
11:23 Thank you Bug for folding thoes clothes for me! Sisters rock :)
Crawled into bed a little after midnight. Closed my eyes. The last thing I remember is hearing the shower shut off.
*Wow there are a lot more pictures than I planned on*
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