January 3, 2012

3 Days

It took 3 days into the new year to remind me that I am sick.  Words can't describe how I feel right now.  Disappointed mostly.  I knew it was coming yesterday when I started getting tired mid afternoon.  I have been doing so well in not falling asleep in the middle of the day.  I fell asleep at the computer. THE COMPUTER YALL!  I never do that!

Last night Melisa reminded me that we had Kohls cash that needed to be spent before midnight and so at 7pm we dropped everything and went to do some shopping.  After only a few minutes of being in the store, I thought I was going to be sick.  So I went to the bathroom.  As I sat there I realized what was going on.  I had tunnel vision and it sounded like I was underwater.  I had to focus and remember where I was and why.  It was like I just woke up...in a bathroom!  Why?  Why do I always run to the bathroom when this happens?  I start to feel disoriented, drunk like and I always find myself in the bathroom.  Every time.  Hello H.E.  Or as my Drs would call it, Hepatic Encephalopathy. 

I fell asleep before Alex did last night.  I woke up, and he was just laying next to me starting at me.  He asked me to scratch his back.  David said he woke up around 12 and he was just laying between us talking to me.  I was sound asleep though.  Another thing that never happens.  I woke up this morning feeling like I had just fell   asleep but after what happened in the store I knew I was going to have to suck it up and get out of bed.  After we dropped my oldest off at school, we went to get groceries and came home.  Alex slept though it all, which was nice and surprising.  David went in to work late today so he offered to take me to lunch.  Ill have to write  about our conversation later.  Because I'm in bed again and falling asleep.  Whataburger isn't on my OK to eat list, but I'm not feeling guilty because I don't think I even have enough energy to eat anything else today.  I could barely push the seat belt release by the time we got home.

And here I am in bed.  With my water.  Propped up on pillows because its the only position that doesn't hurt to much.  So tired.  So weak.  Angry that this is happening but thankful for another day.

Happy Tuesday!

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