July 20, 2011

Me and my bad luck

Today has been one of those days where everything that can go wrong will go wrong.  And nothing makes sense either.  My mind is running at a hundred miles and hour and its making me sick to my stomach.  I feel like Alex.  Trying so hard to talk but no one understands me. That may be a little over dramatic.  Its more like people all of a sudden forgot that I am a smart ass and cant take a joke. Whatever.  Deep Breath!

Someone was supposed to come out and install our patio fan this morning.  Never showed up.  Turns out he was having "family problems" and didn't call any of his clients back today.  David called and was told they would send someone else out.  And its now 4:30 and still no sign of him.  Today was also day 2 of our shower remodel.  The guys were here bright at early.  A little after 8 and went straight to work.  They had to run back to the office for something and came back to tell me that the walls for the shower are to short.  So he is looking to find some in town and get back to work Friday.  But they ordered new walls when they were in the office just in case.  That would be a weeks wait.  Granted, on our contract it was said the project would be started no later than 4 weeks after signing.  And completed by 6 weeks.  Yesterday was the start of week 7.  Yeah!

My mind is running though so many thoughts right now.  Its like bi polar ups and downs every minuet.  It doesn't help that my body feels so run down.  After almost 8 hours of sleep last night I still took a 2 hour nap this afternoon.  I feel like my head is going to explode and my abdomen is so tender I have to sit up straight and proper.  Thankfully the boys have been pretty good today.  There was some fighting over electronics, but I don't even want to start on that.  

Tomorrow I have a follow up with my hematologist.  Nothing like paying a $35 copay just to be told I look great and to come back in a few weeks.  My labs have all been good.  I was supposed to get them redone again Monday, but forgot.  I feel like I cant keep track of my appointments or anything for that matter anymore.  They are written down in my phone and in my book with reminder emails, but it all goes in and right out.  I'm trying so hard to stay focused and in charge of my mind but its seems to be doing its own thing.  At least I have been able to see these changes happening.  I'm watching myself get sicker and sicker and there is no stopping it.  No matter how hard I try I will never be prepared for the road that lies ahead of me.  

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