June 24, 2011

And then there is my liver

I had my 3 month follow up with the liver clinic Wednesday.  And things are pretty much the same.  Except this time David got to come with me and go in to work late.  We even got to sit down and have lunch together afterwards.  It been a while since I got to see him so much during the day.  But I love him for working so hard for us.

So like I said things are pretty much the same. My liver is not completely failing  but isn't working 100%.  My kidneys are working great, so thats great news.  In the words of my Dr.  "You are a perfectly healthy 28 year old woman, except for your liver." My body is fighting to stay strong.  My heart is doing the same.  But how long can you put it off.  Eventually my liver will get worse and stop working.  I will turn yellow.  Or maybe my kidneys will "scream" as the Dr calls it. Then what?  Then I just keep waiting.  To get sicker, and sicker.  It will hurt more, Ill be more tired and more out of breath.  Gee I cant wait.

I asked about the 3 nodules on my liver and he said that they are still there, but not something the MRI Dr felt was an issue right now.  Thank You Jesus!  I asked about my tenderness, as he was pushing on my stomach....yeah not fun.  But to be expected when your liver is congested with blood.  I asked him my liver was like a water balloon just waiting to explode.  Its not.  But any trauma to my abdomen could very well rupture either my liver or spleen, which is congested with blood too.  We also got to talking about my Encephalopathy.  No Driving,  be alert of your body and its surroundings.  The usual.  He also took the time to reassure David and I that it was ok to get angry and frustrated.  But to get it out and then apologize!  He said he would consent to my putting my hand through the drywall, but since I'm on blood thinners we had better come up with something else!

All in all I have been feeling ok and that's enough for me right now.  I have noticed a few changes which are all expected.  Loss of appetite, shortness of breath, fatigue.  Im fighting it all, but its getting harder.  I've set some small exercise and diet goals to see if they will help.  I'm hoping I can just keep pushing though it all.  But knowing that in time, I just wont be able to do it, is killing me.  I've noticed the Encephalopathy sneaking its way in my head.  I cant remember songs that I have sang my whole life.  And sometimes even with the music I cant sing along.  Anthony will tell anyone that I am always forgetting things.  As long as I don't forget him I think he will understand. That will never happen though!!

Its late and I'm loopy, so hopefully this makes sense.  Much love!

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