October 27, 2008

The call

Dr H called me that night around 6. I knew it couldnt be good considering the office closes at 4. The first thing he says is "Im very impressed". By my liver??? Thats a good thing right? Not. He apologised becuse the only word he could use to explain it was "HUGE" The the proceeded to tell me his diagnosis. So here I am writing down everything he says.

Budd Chiari Syndrome
Blocked viens leading from liver to heart
Liver is huge as well as spleen
Slowly clotted so liver didnt get shocked.
Need follow up

I cant even explain how I felt hanging up the phone, I waited for him to hang up first, just incase he started laughing and said this was all some kind of joke. I hung up and walked downstairs. David was leaving for work..do I tell him now or when he gets home. My knees were weak and my hands were shaking. I explaind to him and his mom what the Dr had said. He asked when I had to go back and gave me a kiss before he left. Mom asked me some more questions after that, my voice was cracking and I could barely talk. She joked that she would have been crying by now, but I had already told myself I wasnt going to cry. Not yet.

I made the calls to family. Everyone had a million questions and I had no answers. Everyone asked how David was, but I had no idea. David is my rock and I expected nothing more than a straight face and a kiss. As his wife I knew he wouldn't show any emotion but as a woman I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright. But I reminded myself that he is my rock and if he crumbles I would crumble right along with him. He has such strenghth in times like theses and I knew he would keep me strong too. We will get through this....

No comments :

Post a Comment