October 1, 2020

October 2020 Goals

I don't know how, but its OCTOBER!  And I was so not ready for it.  I mean, sure Im eager to get this year over with, but I feel so unprepared.  Such an uncomfortable feeling.  So much so that working on my nasty procrastination habit just landed at the top of my monthly goals.  Look at me go! HA!

I have a lot of work to do this month!  But after doing pretty good on last months goals, I am up to the challenge. Have you decided on goals for October?  Here are mine.

Stop procrastinating. On everything!

Shut down negative thoughts and conversations.

Get back to sharing on the blog.

Use my voice to share things that are important to me.

Break a sweat every day.

Read 2 books. One for my heart and one for fun.

Be more present with family and friends.

Clean up our eating.

A few months ago, I hit a huge roadblock in my life with liver disease.  Hepatic Encephalopathy.  Pretty much to sum it up, that is when my liver no longer filters the toxins in the foods I eat and they get to my brain.  This causes me to lose time and memory.  I was having horrible mood swings and David said that after I would eat, and more often than not, I would act like I was drunk.  When he got scared, I got scared.  So I knew it was time to make some big changes.  First, I had to give up meat.  I didn't eat a lot of red meat to begin with but it seemed like all meat was causing problems for me so, it all had to go.  Well, sort  of.  I will be the first to admit it is hard!  I have had meat a few times over the last 3 months.  And I have regretted it each time.  Am I addicted to meat? Maybe.  Maybe Im just human.  I don't expect them to give up meat with me, but I do intend n cleaning up all our diets.

If you follow me on instagram, you may have seen me posting some sweaty selfies.  I know, its not something that is normal, but, its about to be. Another part of me getting healthy meant that I was going to have to get my butt in better shape.  Im not clueless about exercise but I know I needed some support and David telling me to move my ass, wasn't going to work. If I was ever trying to step out of my comfort zone, this did it.  This is 100% not something I would ever do.  But I figured Id give it a try.  So I jumped.  And so far I am loving it.  The ladies in the group are awesome.  Its crazy to think that I have worked out every day for the last 5 weeks.  I was more of a walk to school once a week kinda girl.  I have to admit, Im starting at the bottom.  I'm weak and uncoordinated but every day I log in, do the work and check in with the other ladies.  It might not be everyones cup of tea, but the support alone has been worth it.  Plus after the first month I was down 7 inches and 7 lbs.  I don't see it yet, but I feel it!

I miss reading and writing.  I picked up a few books (digitally) from the library.  One was a self help book, a few cook books and a romance for in between them all.  Say what you want, Im a sucker for a good love story. I haven't been doing a lot of the things that make me happy and I can feel it in my bones.  Its been crazy quiet here on the blog and hopefully this month will be the start of getting back to my why.  I started writing to share my story and reach out to those who are on this wild ride with me.  I miss connecting with new and old spoonie friends, who really understand what living life with a chronic illness is like.  I miss sharing my story and not feeling guilty for being a downer when it wasn't pretty.  Using my voice to spread awareness.  Gotta get back there.

The other thing I would like to do is be more present.  Not that I am not present but I want to make it a priority.  In the little things.  I wan to remember to put my phone down more when they are in the room.  I want to sit with them while they do their homework.  And sit at the table with them for meals.  I want to enjoy our mornings and evenings on the patio and our deep and uncomfortable conversations.  And somewhere in there I want to make sure I still show up for myself too.  

I didn't pic a mantra for the month.  Maybe I will find one that fits along the way.  October for some reason feels like a clean slate.  Maybe its the changing seasons or the change in temperature?  Maybe Im reading to much into it.  But I hope it is.  I hope this month brings me balance and good energy.  Because lord knows things have been a little off center and full of negativity.  

What are you hoping October brings to you? How are you feeling as we enter the last few months of 2020.  I know we are all ready for it to be over with.  But what do you want to get out of it before its gone?

Happy October!

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