January 12, 2014

Alexander turns 5

Today was very much like any other Sunday.  We spent the morning in our pajamas.  We had breakfast together.  We spent the afternoon playing.  Grandma and Grandpa came over.  But this time with cake, balloons and presents.  My baby turns 5 today.  I say turns because he wasn't born until 11:44  but today was all about him.  And he didn't want to do anything!

I want to get away from his birthday reminding me that its been another year that I have been sick.   The only reason I was ever diagnosed with Budd Chiari Syndrome is because it was discovered during an ultrasound.  And after years of trying and fertility treatments we had given up hope, then one day, hello positive pregnancy test.  I went into his delivery not knowing if my body would be strong enough to handle childbirth.  I was, and we were blessed with this little man.  Who I believe is my real life guardian angel.

This have changed though.  Five years ago, I was so afraid of the unknown that it was adding to my sickness.  Now, I have hope for another year.  My life was a gift from Alex and he was a gift from God.  The truth is its not just his birthday that reminds me of how far I have come.  Its him.  He is a constant reminder of how hard I fought to get to where I am.  To find peace with a diagnosis and to be able to accept the help and comfort that my family and friends give me.  We sure have come a long way together.  Not just me or Alexander but all of us.  My beautiful family.  I live for them.

My favorite part of Alexander is how forgiving and laid back he is.  He reminds me of myself. He wanted to go to the Zoo today, but a few drops of raid and he decided we could just stay home and play.  He is so easily excited.  The neighbors came over and asked us out to play.  That was the highlight of the day.  He reminded everyone that today was his birthday.  We were out there for a few hours.  We had pizza for dinner and the in laws brought over cupcakes and presents and balloons.  Tonight he said "today was perfect".   He smiled that Alex smile, when I told him he was perfect.

He is silly but still so serious.  Even thinking about his laugh makes me laugh.  The faces he makes are enough to make even the grumpiest person smile.  Curious yet cautious.  Sweet but mischievous.  Stubborn as all heck but such a sweet talker.  There is greatness inside of him.  I'm both excited and scared to see what he will do with his life.  If you ask him what he is going to be when he grows up he will tell you he is going to be a Army Sniper.  I believe him, but plans could change in the next 13 years.  What ever he does, he will give it his all.

I only have 30 more weeks until I lose my baby to Kindergarten.  That's 30 more Sundays like this. Minus all the sweets, but still only 30.  I am on a mission to make the most of the time we have left together.  It seems like so little but I know its still a few months off.  I better get a start on it.  Off I go to tuck in one tiny and oh so handsome 5 year old.  Hug your babies tight tonight, and every night.  When you break down the time we have with them before they leave home, its never as much time as we think.

Happy 5th Birthday my Alexander the Great.  My saving grace.  There are not words to explain just how blessed we are by you!  Love to the moon and back a million times!

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