Burnout

 Day 20 (April 20) – Burnout

Write about burnout. What does it feel like? What are your burnout triggers?

The worst feeling in the world is being defeated.  Well clearly not the worst, but at the time, it feels like it.  Ask anyone with a chronic illness and they will have a few stories to tell you, I'm sure of it! Its amazing how much we push ourselves.  Just for the chance at feeling normal or healthy again.  But when push comes to shove there comes a time when we just cant!

For me, weeks like this one are the worst.  A change in my meds had me all nervous and scared. Money is tight.  Alex was sick.  I have two appointments coming up.  Or I did until the liver clinic bumped me.  And I have been pushing myself to stay on top of my diet and exercise.  Then I question my fatigue and push even harder.  Only to be knocked on my butt.  Tonight I am burnt.

Today, patience was gone, my voice was louder, I have cried watching the news, and I have put myself down.  I'm tired.  Beyond that, I am exhausted.  So much that I am going to cut it short and get ready for another insane day.  One that I really want to enjoy.  That I will enjoy.  But one that will leave me even more tired than today!  And I'm sure I will do it all again next week!

Anyone else over do it?  What burns you out?