November 2, 2012

Quote Inspiration

It is not length of life, but depth of life. 

       - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Up until recently I have gone back and forth on my feelings of needing a liver transplant.  The doctors have said that I am not sick enough for a transplant.  Most days I hoped that I would just get sick already.  Because siting around waiting for it to happen is pretty damn scary.  Then I would have the days where I would be thankful for my health and I would remind myself that each day is a blessing.  In my mind it would have been better to spend the worst days while the boys were young.  Forgiving and quick to forget.  I was worried that if they were older, they would be afraid and feel like they needed to take care of me, when I'm supposed to be taking care of them.  I don't ever want to be a burden on their lives.

Over the last few months, with the loss of my father playing a huge part of it, I have decided that I can't just sit around waiting for the day I get sick.  Yes, I know it will come, but what a waste it is to just throw away all these beautiful days just waiting.  There is so much that I want to do, so much I want to see and so much I want to share.  Maybe I will live to be 100 or maybe only 40.  I wan't to make sure that I spend that time living, loving, laughing.  I want to go on a real vacation with my boys.  I want to take the time to enjoy them growing up.  I want to make plans and stick to them.  I want to stop worrying all the time.  I don't wan to be afraid all the time. I want to show my family and friends just how much they mean to me.  I want date nights with the hubby and weekend getaways.  Girls night out!  Life has so much to offer.  But I cant sit here just waiting for it to pass by, because its not going to wait for me.

1 comment :

  1. My name is Alex, I am from Ukraine, I am 32 years old man. I don't smoke cigarettes and don't drink alcohol. My blood is O+ and I have a good health. If you need liver transplant I am ready to give part of my liver, but I want to receive a big compensation for that.

    P.S. This is not a joke and I am not a scammer or cheater.