October 9, 2012

Hello Friends! Welcome to my bubble...

I love my kids but sometimes it is so good to talk to someone about something more than ninjas and video games.  You know it is bad when you are relating real mans hair cut to that of a cartoon character. Yup, I did that.  Yes, I need to get out more.  No, I can't always do that.

If I had to pick one word to explain how life on the liver transplant is for me, today I would pick {Lonely}.  Again, I love my boys and my family.  But I forgot how good it feels to have adult friends.  And talk about big kid stuff.

I found out I was sick not long after we moved to Texas.  So not only did I have the disadvantage of not knowing anyone, now they were telling me I wasn't allowed to go anywhere!  I remember when Anthony started school and I would walk him to class every day.  It was so refreshing just to get out and see that there were in fact other people out there.  I met a few of the moms and we would catch up when we picked our kids up at the end of the day.  And hang out at a few of the birthday parties.  But they all lived in other neighborhoods and since I was stuck here, it was few and far in between that we would get to talk.  And when my illness got in the way of our plans eventually people stopped calling.  It happens and I can understand why.  That is why socializing is mostly limited to  my computer and text messages.  Call me and chances are you wont hear me over these boys!  Fair warning.

This year, I made a point to be more social.  I've made friends with a few of the moms here now.  Some are more social than others.  Its hard putting myself out there, knowing that I will have to turn down invitations and stuff because I am to sick or cant go.  I hate being a one sided friend.  But there isn't much I can do.  Ladies nights out, sorry, not only don't I drink, but I cant even offer to be the designated driver.  Play dates at the park?  I will have to bring my MIL or Mom with me because I cant drive.  Or I am not well enough to go.  Morning walks?  Maybe, but I will have to skip my meds that day because they make me so sick I have to stay close to a bathroom home.  So you get my point, I'm a bad choice for a BFF recruit.  Unless you are cool with just sticking close to home, having good conversation and laughs.  I'm like a cheap date!

But having a few ladies close to home who understand and don't judge.  Who get my sarcasm and my parenting views.  Who aren't always on the go and understand why I can't just jump up and go...its so nice!  Its hard hearing about all the fun things other moms are doing.  I enjoy hearing the stories about all the places they go and  the things they do though.  I know that someday I will have the chance, but for now, life is pretty low key.  And that's OK too!

I went from living on a super social island where I knew everyone, to working at Disney world where I met people from everywhere.  Going out, having parties, going to the movies and just hanging out.  And then all of a sudden I was cut off and stuck at home.  Some days its almost like being stranded in a bubble and I'm watching the world go on around me.  Without me.  My door however is always open and y'all are more than welcome to stop in and say hi! Take your shoes off and stay a while! 

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