June 4, 2012

There are bound to be bad days!

What better way to start out the first full week of summer by laying in bed all morning.  Of course it would be better if I wasn't curled up in the fetal position crying in pain, but hey, I'm trying to be positive here!  This is it.  This is my life.

Over the past  month I have been counting my blessings.  Everyday I got up and felt OK, I said a prayer and gave thanks because I knew days like today laid ahead.  I forgave mistakes.  I over looked the little things that usually drive me nuts and I tried not to raise my voice.  I said tried.  Because even though I tried, stress has been killing me and my nerves are shot.  And if you know us, things get pretty hectic around here.  I'm not perfect.  I will be the first to admit it too.

This morning was the first time in a while that I let it all get to me.  After only minuets of sleep in between tossing and turning and trips to the bathroom, my alarm went off.  Woke up mom and sent her to pick up Melisa from work.  Fed the dogs and boiled eggs for lunch.  While the eggs boiled I laid on the couch.  The cold leather felt like heaven.  But before I could even close my eyes, the alarm was going off again.  Eggs were done and it was time for my morning meds.

I didn't take my meds.  After pulling an all nighter and puking though most of it, I didn't really want to spend anymore time in the bathroom.  So I quickly made the egg salad, packed Davids lunch, let mom know when to take the dog out and crawled back in bed.  I'm not really sure what upset me more.  The pain or watching David get ready to leave for work.  I wanted the pain to go and him to stay.  Before I knew it I was crying.  I hate when I cry in front of him. I know he had to go, but I wanted so badly to beg him to stay.  And at that point he probably would have but I know he had to go.  So he kissed me goodbye and headed off.  That was the last thing I remembered.

I must have finally fallen asleep and was woken up by a tongue to the face.  Again.  I've accepted it as part of being a Great Dane Mom.  Just another part of life.  Fell asleep to a kiss and woke up to one too.  I've said it before, I'm a lucky girl.

I managed to roll out of bed around 11.  Get the roast in the crock pot and the coleslaw mixed up.  Fed the boys.  Took something for the pain and plopped down on the couch to watch some TV.  Now its 4:30, I need to finish putting dinner together.  There is no way I'm going to the store today. But I did manage to finish my list so hopefully I will be up for in the morning.

Before David left he asked me if I needed to go to the hospital.  I didn't think it was necessary, after all, this really is just part of being sick.  My pain meds lasted about an hour and I can feel it creeping back up.  The only thing is he just told me that he will have to pull a double.  So even if I wanted to go, I couldn't.  I could, but I'd be there alone and that's not happening!  The good news is overtime..

Off to feed the pack now.  Then this momma is going to bed.  I am so thankful to have my mom and sister here to help me.  And even more thankful for kids who are caring and forgiving enough to love me even though I didn't get to play today. For a husband who busts his butt to provide for us. And for all of you who help carry me though days like this!  The week can only get better from here!

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