November 8, 2008

Thinning out

Today I sat with a man who had cancer and we laughed together for one of the longest hours of my life.
My hematologist is actually an ocologist as well and his main office is that the cancer center down town. So today I had to go in and "get educated" on how to stab myself properly and push acid into my leg. OK a little dramatic, but Im being a baby today. Is so much eaiser getting pissed off a the nurse when you get shots, than getting mad at yourself. Getting back to my new freind, it was such a relief to sit wiht someome who had such a positive outlook when we were surrounded my people getting their chemo. It as just sad. And there I sat, young and pregnant, and the only female in there. Everytime I got up everyone looked at me funny. But atleast I got to see it. Makes me even more grateful for the health that I have. And gives me a heads up on something that I could very well be dealing with at some point in time. Sometimes I feel guilty for being so optomisitc and cheerful. I felt bad for laughing in a room of people who were in pain and sad. But comforted by this man, who had been through so much and was able to laugh about borrowing my eyebrow pencil, since he had lost all his from the chemo. So many mixed emotions today.

I also gave myself my very first self injection today. As you can tell, I didnt take it like a man. And thats ok becaues Im not. Seriously though. It stings when the needle goes in and burns like hell when the meds go in. I look forward to the day I can take the pill form. I take them 2 times a day. 10 and 10. Not to early and not to late. Im sure it will get easier, probably on my last shot though right. My kind of luck. So that was my day. Minus the 2 and a half hour wait at walgreens that I refuse to do again. And heres a quick shot of my goods. (get your heads out of the gutters)

1 comment :

  1. I really identify with this blog! My haematologist is also an oncologist so when I visit I often go in feeling sorry for myself as I'm such a wimp when it comes to needles and the thick blood has been identified as the potential reason why I've miscarried... But I come out inspired by the people I meet in the waiting room and realising things aren't so bad!

    I'm going to have to learn to self inject for next time we ttc! Very anxious about this as like you say I can't get pissed off with myself like I can with the nurses (the other alternative is my husband is going to do it... equally not looking forward to that)

    Have a great day and thanks for sharing your life through this blog!