February 21, 2019

Mom Talk: Rules for visiting friends

Ok, lets have a little mom chat, can we?  Way back in the day I used to write about mom stuff.  Asking questions and talking about all the craziness that comes up when trying to raise our kids the best we can.  And I think I will bring that back.  Not sure how often yet, but today I want to talk/vent/ask about manners.

I'm not going to lie.  Manners are a big deal to me.  They were drilled into me as a kid and I have not so much drilled, but have instilled them in my boys.  I mean how do you get by in life with out good manners?  That's just what we are supposed to do as parents right?  Teach our kids to be good and kind people!

Sadly, I have to admit that over the past few weeks I have been a little disappointed by some of these kids I come across.  Now, I'm not saying all kids are bad or that my kids are perfect.  The aren't!  But there have been a few bad apples rolling around here and I don't have any problems taking them out with the trash.  Whats worse is that its all happened in my house.  And all I am left thinking is, did you parents not teach you how to act when visiting someone else's house?  Because we have rules.  That we have discussed.  That we enforce.  And that we expect the boys to follow.  And yes, there are consequences when they are broken.

Ive been told a few times that I have high expectations for my boys.  Like its a bad thing.  Is it a bad thing?  I don't thinks so.  I mean, these 10 things are just a few of the things the boys named off when I asked them to name some rules for visiting friends houses.

When the boys spend time at a friends house, the first thing I ask when I pick them up is if they behaved themselves.  I tell you what, the one and only time the answer was no,  I was so embarrassed.  And so was Anthony.  It hasn't happened again and knock on wood it wont.  Except for #10.  That is the one rule the boys just always forget about.  You know what Im talking about right?  When you are picking your kid up and they say something in front of the other kids parent like "Can he come to our house now?"  Or when a kid is hanging out at the house and then at 9:30 pm now you want to ask if he can spend the night.  I don't want to be a jerk and just say no, but shoot, at least give me a heads up so I can make sure the house is clean and there is enough food for another growing boy in the house!

A few weeks ago, a boy who lives on our street knocked on the door.  When I told him Anthony was doing his homework, he said "Oh I'll just help him!" And tried to push past me to get in.  Another time I told him and his brother that my boys were busy and when I shut the door,  they walked to the front of the house and were trying to peek in Anthony's window!  Who does that?

Anthony recently stopped talking to a friend he has had since elementary.  While the two older boys were playing a video game with Alex, his friend got mad because Alex wouldn't "let" him win. Anthony listened to his "friend" call his brother all kids of names before he finally snapped and words were said.  That same kid has been known to open my fridge and get mad because I don't buy soda.  Sorry not sorry!

I will be the first to admit my boys aren't perfect.  They can be absolutely obnoxious.  They make jokes way ahead of their time and sometime are downright feral.  But when manners are called for,  they can usually get with the program.  Someone complimented me on their behavior when we were out a while back and I shot back with "Now if only they could be this good at home!"  She reminded me that at home they are in their own space.  And while they should still behave at home too, it really counts how they treat people and behave when they are out of the house.  Fair enough.

Can we talk about this?  Am I being a crazy lady for expecting kids visiting my house to follow my rules?  Maybe its just a cultural thing and I was raised differently?   Have you talked to your kids about how to behave when they are visiting someone a friends house?  Have you ever dealt with a disrespectful visitor?

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