November 13, 2012

This drink is on me!

Day 13:  Write about something Taboo.

One of the very first questions I was asked at the liver clinic was "Do you drink alcohol?"  At the time I was pregnant so the obvious answer was no.  But I did admit that before I got pregnant I did have a few drinks every now and then.  After Alex was born, I drank.  Not every day or every weekend, but there were are few times that I had a few.  My hematologist said a drink or two wouldn't affect my meds, but at clinic when they asked and I told the truth, I was advised against it.  Not long after that I was listed for transplant and I have not had a drink since then.  I would like to make it clear that my liver disease was not caused by a drinking problem.

I haven't had a drink in years.  Most days I don't miss it, but then sometimes I crave just one drink.  You know those days where everything has gone wrong, my nerves are shot and it feels like I am this close to losing my mind.  Yeah, on those days I wish I could just have a drink.  Just one.  And of course when we go out sometimes it sucks not being able to have a few with friends.  But I do it.  I do it because I know that I will regret it.  I do it because I hate wanting it in the first place.  I do  it because I'm actually crazy enough with out a few drinks in me.

I know a few people who do drink knowing that they have a liver disease.  And I have nothing against that.  Your body, your choice.  But if alcohol wasn't so taboo for those of us with liver disease, would I have a few  every now and then?  Probably. There was a time that I used to drink just for the feeling.  Eventually I ventured from the hard stuff to beer.  And guess what, its not as nasty tasting as I thought.  I have tried beers of all sorts.  Epcot anyone?  When I say I crave a drink, I'm don't mean in the alcoholic sense.  Neither does saying that I prefer the taste of beer over a soda any day.  I just enjoy the flavors.

But in the end it all means nothing.  I no longer drink.  I have accepted it, for the most part.  A good time is still had without it.  Its a known fact that drinking will affect your liver but that's not stopping many.  If you were told your liver was starting to fail, would you still indulge in a few drinks?  Would knowing someone who was affected by liver disease make you think twice?  Because drinking in this community(liver disease)
is so Taboo!

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