August 10, 2012

Time out

I haven't been around (online) much lately.  Partly because I've been busy with the everyday things and mostly because I'm still broken over losing my dad and everything I write ends up about my pain and hurt.  Now, I've always been one to share my feelings here no matter what they were but this is just to much to wrap my mind around. 

I've been so busy because I haven't let myself slow down.  I've read through 5 books since we got back, steam cleaned my carpet, been a laundry nazi and busy in the kitchen, trying new recipes and food. But the truth us that I'm a bloody freaking mess right now and I'm doing my best to not be.  And by bloody, I mean literally my bloodwork has been off the charts since getting back.  I've got the bruises to back them up too. 

With each passing day I feel a little better.  Even if its just the tiniest bit, its a step in the right direction. What's happened is done and there isn't anything I can do to bring him back.  Not even for one quick hug.  The ones where just when you think he's gonna let go he squeezes harder.  That my friends were the bear hugs I loved so much.  One of the things I will miss the most! 

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