June 23, 2010

Week 4

Am I crazy to be counting the weeks?  I count the days too, but figured week 4 sounded better than day 30.  I'm not sure why I'm obsessing over how many days and weeks its been.  Waiting for a liver or any organ is hard.  I'm both anxious and nervous.  Excited and yet scared. 
One of my transplant Buddies, Anna, over at Our Transplant Journey, has been on the liver list for 5 months now.  She is only 12 years old and her MELD is 32. Much higher than mine.  I pray she gets her liver soon.

So what does that mean for me?  It mean that this might be a long wait.  Unless of course God forbid I get sicker.  For now I am just trying to do all I can to stay healthy.  Last night I gave in and ate something I really shouldn't have.  And I'm paying for it hard today.  Talk about pain.  I'm starting to figure out what makes my liver tick.  What triggers my H.E. Now if only I could get a grip on these crazy mood swings.  Seriously, its taking everything left in me not to break down and just let the depression and negativity take over.  Horrible.  But good things are coming, I'm counting on it.  I have my disability hearing on Friday.  And if that works out, life is going to get a lot easier for us.  It cant be any worse than getting approved for 26$ in food stamps.  Fingers crossed.

1 comment :

  1. I'm still lurking around the internet for things to help ease ya... and I don't know one person who doesn't know their time on the waiting list. It is natural, but even if you have known your whole life that you will need a transplant one day, once you are listed, everyone goes through the stages of grieving... All we can do is try our hardest not to get stuck in any of the stages.
    Prayin' for your new liver AND that your hearing goes well today. (I'll come kick some butt if they give u any problems) Oh...yes...and one last thing. Maybe a slight H.E. moment when you put the date of your newest MELD score, yes? lol. xo