November 7, 2011

Case of the Mondays


I'm tired.  Of everything. Last night, the little one wasn't feeling well and went to bed at 7.  I was in bed by 9:30. Next thing you know its almost 11 and I hear him out in the living room talking to David.  Who of course is ready to go to bed.  So  I have to get up and hang out with him.  He was wired!  It didn't help that I have a nasty head cold.  The one where I just want to stab by head to let some of the pressure out.  Instead  I sat there with my sweats and robe and finished up yesterdays blog post.  Yawning and nodding off the whole time.

I'm tired of being sick.  I'm tired of taking medicine.  I'm tired of my Lovenox injections. I'm tired of thinking about the pile of medical bills I have to pay.  I'm tired of trying so hard to act like everything is OK.  I'm tired of the watching the same episode of Mickey Mouse over and over.  And tired of having to fight the boys about baths and bedtimes. Tired of all the bickering and drama around here.  I'm just tired of being tired.

I just want to sleep and not have to get out of bed until I want to.  I want to be able to eat what ever the heck I feel like and not hurt after.  I want to be able to pay off my bills or better yet not get billed so damn much.  I want to catch up on all the shows just sitting on the DVR.  I don't want to have to be the mean mom! I want to not be so tired of everything.  Its not me at all.  Its sad when I am thinking a few nights in the hospital would be like a mini vacation at this point.  I want this day to be over.

I'm taking today off.  And I will check back in to life on Tuesdays.  Get all the things I need to get done,  over with.  Tomorrow I will be productive and energetic.  OK maybe not energetic, but enough to get what needs to be done, done!

This post was written as part of NHBPM - 30 health posts 30 days:  http://bit.ly/vU0g9J   

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