January 8, 2011

Disappointment

That word pretty much sums up my week. I hate weeks like this. I'm actually looking forward to next week because it can only be better...right?
Monday was supposed to be fabulous. David had a day off for once. The plan was drop Ant off at school, go get an oil change, go back to the school and surprise Ant at lunch. Then take the little one out for some alone time with us. All while waiting for my bloodwork results to come back normal.

Anthony did make it to school. The car did get the oil change, but turns out it needed new wipers, and an alignment and something else that shot the bill up to $300. We spent lunch in the dealership waiting room. Got back barely in time to pick up Anthony from school. So no time with the little one. And only to round the night out with a call from the Dr saying my INR is at 3.2. Still high :(

Tuesday was my worst day yet. I got up to make Anthony breakfast. Then went back up and crawled in bed. I didn't get out until it was time to pick Anthony up. I have never let myself "be sick" but I could not fake it anymore. I was hurting and exhausted and I couldn't do anything about it. I feel like I let myself give in and I'm disappointed in that. I can't give up. I can't let myself be sick. I am worried that once I give in, there will be no coming back. I don't know if that even makes sence.

The rest of the week was spent trying to figure out why my medication cost went from $80 to $800. For only ONE prescription. Turns out I now have a $1000 deductible on my meds. Then I will pay 25%. Good news is, if I fill all my scripts I could max out on my first order. Bad news is, its a freaking grand! Even if its a 3 month supply, its redonkulous! And thanks to my wonderful friends, I've been looking up medication savings programs. I actually got a $100 discount.t card that I can use for monthly refills. Still going to cost an arm and 2 legs!

Then I got the call back from my transplant nurse. She was telling me how my high INR is a sign of liver failure. Good news. Sadly. And it also news that my dose of bloodthinners will go down. So that's pretty good news too. She said my liver and spleen are still enlarged, AND now I have gallstones. And the prefer not to do anything about them unless they have to. So that explains all the pain I've been in.

Today was the first Saturday in a while that we stayed home all day. It feels good, I feel like its the beginning of my being really sick. I feel like I'm losing control over my body and no matter what I do, there's no stopping it. The sad part is, I knew this would happen. Everytime something comes up, I freak out all over again. Again I'm disappointed.

Here's to next week being fabulous. I have labs again on Monday, so we will go from there...

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