Life...

It's been pretty quiet around here.  It's been pretty quiet in my real life too.  Right now everything is so out of whack that Im kind of just rolling with it.

Tonight, one of my kids had dinner next door and the other one asked for ramen. Yes,  I fed him ramen for dinner.  Don't judge me. I am judging myself enough as it is.

According to my FitBit I got 7 hrs of sleep but that was a mix of 3 naps. It was a long night.

I can't sleep without David.  No Im not that clingy, but when he is home, I don't have to second guess myself like I do when he is not.  When he is not here, I literally can't sleep because my anxiety is through the roof.  I got out of bed to check the doors 4 times last night and every time I peeked in on the boys too.

Melatonin has been a lifesaver.  Last month my oldest was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome and a Sleep Wake Schedule Disorder.  We have spent the last 3 weeks running a pretty tight bedtime schedule and its really working.  The more sleep he gets, the less tics he has.

There is so much hate online right now that most days I just cant stand social media. I might get on to post or share something but I try not to scroll. Its just to hateful and depressing.

I miss writing the day to day stuff. But my day to days are pretty lame lately. Mostly because everythings a little crazy but I do know that I want to get back to that. Writing for me. Even if,like this post, it just ends up being random thoughts in my head!

Last month about did me in. Doctors, death in the family and last Friday was a really bad day for me. When it rains it pours. The sun will come out again soon!

I feel like I've been in robot mode.  Wake up, feed the kids, get them to school, feed dogs, take a nap, clean, get boys, make dinner, feed everyone, clean, go to bed, wake up, go to bed , wake up and repeat the day.

I guess this is just one of those lows in life. Where everything goes wrong and you kinda shut yourself out for a while to make sure you are ok. I am ok. Or I will be. Oh the ups and downs of life.

Time to sleep. Try to anyways.  The dogs go out on me more time then hopefully there isnt a repeat of last night. Hard pass.  Sweet dreams!