Ok, technically its Friday but when I started writing it was still Thursday!
You know those nights where there are a million things going through your mind and you know there is no end in sight. This is where I am at. Throw in some brewing anxiety and middle school drama and I am currently a mess. So in the spirit of wanting to write more personal stuff here, Im gonna just think out loud for a minute.
Quick question for the parents out there. If you have ever met Ant, you know that he is a sweet boy. Tough but he is very much in touch with his emotions. Tonight he was not himself. When I asked him what was eating him, he told me a kid had said some things to him at school that he couldn't shake off. He couldn't even bring himself to tell me what they said. Instead he wrote it out.
" A dirty Mexican. IDK what this is, but they called me a Spic or something like that "
I want to vomit just picturing him standing there, wondering what this kid meant. He knew it was bad because his friend told the kid off and said he was gonna deck him. Seriously just sick to my stomach.
We have talked to him about racism before. More than once. And as many times as we have told him to just let insults and teasing roll of his shoulders, I kinda wish he would have said something to the kid. But instead he just walked away because he didn't have anything to say that wasn't mean. I love his good heart to pieces.
When I asked him if he spoke to his coach about it, since it was in PE, he told me that his coach would probably tell him to man up. Im so sad that he felt he couldnt talk to anyone about this.
We have been talking to him mostly about getting teased for his height but I just never thought about this. David is right. Growing up in the states is nothing like the little tiny island I grew up on. I have never wished to be back on that rock as much as I do now.
So much hate in this world. But what really breaks my heart is these kids are in 6th grade. 11 years old. I guess this shouldn't be such a surprise after my second grader came home and said that kids at school keep talking about the N word. I will never forget the scrunched up face he made when I told him what it means. He asked why anyone one would want to say that to another person and then told me I have been listening to racist songs. Uh oh! I can't. I can't even.
Have you talked to you kids about racism? Have they experienced it at all? I dont quite know where to go from here but to keep our communication open with our kids and explain away the ugliness of this world. Sigh.