May 25, 2013

After 3 years, I am done waiting!

Today marks my 3rd year listed for a liver transplant   I have been dreading this day, well maybe not dreading but I have been well aware of it creeping up on me. I didn't know quite how I would feel about it, but I am OK with it.

IMG_20130516_155449.
Still listed!
The last 3 years have brought so much joy and so much pain in my life.  I found strength in myself that I didn't know was there.  Life was turned upside down and shaken, but today we are all right where we need to be.  My boys are healthy, happy and thriving.  David and I have never been better.  I can look forward and see a future with me in it.  I found friends I didn't know I needed.  I was able to get over a lot of the pain and guilt that held me back all these years.  I have had more good days than bad.  I spent less time at the doctors and more time with my family.  There were lots of tears.  The hardest part was saying to say goodbye to my Dad last July.  But a promise to be strong and knowing that he was proud of me and had faith in me has been a constant reminder to me to keep my head up.  Even when I am at my worst, I can feel him helping me breath and wiping away my tears.

This morning when I jumped online the first thing I came across a video on Your Sassy Self and I realized that I have still been letting my illness hold me back.  Yes I have big hopes and dreams.  There are things I plan on doing, but there was always something keeping me from taking that first jump.  I think I am ready to go now.  This week I will be going over my lists and trying to figure out where the heck I am going to start.

So, Happy 3 years on the transplant waiting list to me.  For the past 3 years I have been doing just that.  Waiting.  Its time to start living.  Really living.  I thought I was, but its clear to me now that I have been holding back so much.  Time to jump!

Do you have a bucket list?  What are some things you want to do before your time here is over? Have you crossed anything off yet?


8 comments:

  1. Admire your strength and courage Kim. You hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength! And your Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, “Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do.”
    Go and do MANY great things wishing the best of times!! Much luv ~ from Harris

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    1. Thank You Mary! You words always bring me so much comfort and strength! Sending lots of love from Texas :)

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  2. I am happy you are at the place you are at. You will get the liver when God deems it so, but until then he has you alive and "well" so you can still live:)

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    1. Thanks Tiffany! I do have to say, you are a great inspiration of mine! Hope you are doing great!!

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  3. You are a beacon of light sister! Hugs....

    Much love,
    Marissa

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  4. Good for you for doing what you need to do for yourself and your family. Life really is short. I learned that the hard way after losing my son. Looking forward to hearing all about your bucket list items getting crossed off.

    Besos, Sarah
    Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo

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  5. Hey - new follower from The BlogLovin Hop at Journeys of The Zoo!
    http://www.jenstangledthreads.com

    ~Jen

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  6. Love you lady!! You rock my socks off, let's start marking off things on your list right now :)

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