April 2, 2012

Father knows best

Todays Prompt:
Quotation Inspiration. Find a quote that inspires you (either positively or negatively) and free write about it for 15 minutes.

In 1968 some one said "Little children are all great.  They grow up into big people like us."  And that someone was me.  No me, but my Dad.  When I was little I would hear him telling the guys this and I remember rolling my eyes.  I don't know why, probably because I was a smart ass didn't understand.  But I do now.

Dad last year was undergoing treatment for cancer.  And because the cancer was in his throat and jaw, he was unable to talk like we used to.  See, as a kid I was more interested in fighting with him.  Once I left home, I realized just how much I actually enjoyed the talks we did have.  Dad and I used to talk all the time.  Somehow, conversations that annoyed me when I was a super cool teenager, I now find comfort in.  And now that I am a parent, I cherish these talks.  How does this have anything to do with this quote or my health?  It has everything to do with it.

One of the hardest parts of being sick for me is balancing it with parenting.  There are days where I am feeling absolutely miserable.  I'm tired and grumpy and near tears.  What is the first thing I do?  I call Dad.  And what is the first thing he will tell me?   "Little children are all great.  They grow up into big people like us."

Although sometimes he does just tell me that they are "just boys".  But that's besides the point.  Sometimes I need a reminder that I need to just enjoy them.  That they really are just little versions of me.  That even if they see me fall, they also need to see me get up.  They see everything I do and sometimes, even on my worst days, I need to be the person I want them to be.

p.s. - Sorry Dad for being such a pain in the butt.  Don't worry, I know karma is about to tap on my shoulder.  And when it does, I will remember you saying this and do my best to be understanding and patient with them.  I love you!


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