February 3, 2012

Blessed

I've been a little off for the past few days.  The response to my last post was overwhelming.  I always knew that there were other people who truly understood where I was and how it felt.  But the emails and the messages and replies.  The RT's and the shares, I'm so very blessed.  When I say I could not have come this far with out all of you I mean it from the bottom of my heart.  With everything I am, I thank you all!

Today was a strange day for me.  Tired more that usual.  With an unsettled feeling.  I don't know how to explain it.  Almost like a calmness that just wasn't sitting right with me.  My sister described it as being the last person in the world, I described it feeling like was going to be my day ever or like something big was about to happen.  That feeling you get right before you get slammed with a hurricane and you're thinking OK this is it!  Brace yourselves.  Why do I feel like that?

Maybe reality is really settling in this time?  Maybe the fact that I am actively fundraising and about to be put out there for the whole world to see scares the crap out of me.  There is no more hiding.  This is me.  This is my life.  There is no more wishing it was just a dream or pretending like everything is fine.  I know in the end it will be but we are not there yet.  There is a long road ahead of me.  The good thing is that to some point, I know what to expect.  I'm not alone and thanks to all of you who read and share my story, I have HOPE!

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