November 2, 2011

The reality is...


 "Your blog is being turned into a TV show! Congrats – you’ve earned it. In fact, you get to co-write it. Write about the TV show based on your life or blog."

I cant tell you how many times we have said "Damn, if only we had our own reality TV
 show!"  Seriously, I don't think people would know what hit them.  And I have no idea what it would be named.  Of course if it was about my blog then I would just call the show Hope Whispers.

I think something along the line of a reality/documentary would be right.  Following me from the ultrasound that threw up the red flag till long after my transplant.  It would be nice for others to see, what I go though. To see me struggle the few months after Alex was born, when I was feeling like I was barely hanging on to my life and having to juggle being a new mom on top of parenting a toddler while my husband was busy working.  To see me laying in bed all night going over the hundreds of what ifs.  To watching me wake up after my surgery and get to finish living the life I set out to!

I think it would be nice to see it from the boys view too.  I often wonder how my 6 year old views my liver disease. He has asked so many questions.  Thought out questions.  And has cried so many nights begging me not to die.  He has little bouts of resentment because I am not able to spend time with him like we used to.  I go out of my way to try and make him understand and know that I love him so very much.  

And what about  my marriage.  Ever wonder what it is like to go from happily married to feeling like there is no way we could make this work.  Watch as we both feel guilt over my illness and watch us find our way back to each other after we almost lose everything.  We argued more in the first year of my diagnosis than we have in our whole 11 years together.

And you cant forget all the Dr appointments and scopes and surgeries.  Watch me tear up because I hate sitting alone in the exam room.  Hear my thoughts as I lay still in the MRI.  Better yet, hear the MRI.  Ive have been trying to explain to my family what it sounds like!  Watch my pill count go from 1 to 4 to 10+.

I think we need more shows, movies and media that shine the spotlight on organ donation. It would be so nice to not only document my life, but others who are at every stage in transplant.  From the hundreds of tests it takes just to get listed.  To the waiting part of the journey.  Just waiting to get sick enough to get better.  To the struggle of staying alive and well after transplant.  We are have our stories.  Some of us are parents waiting,  some of us are parents of a child waiting.  All with different reasons for needing a transplant.  All with different outcomes.  People really need to see just how hard life can be on the list and how important it is for more people to sign up to be organ donors.  To be heroes!

This post was written as part of NHBPM - 30 health posts 30 days:  http://bit.ly/vU0g9J       

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