May 23, 2011

Stress Sucks

So much going on, so little time to let it all out.  My mind has been a blur this past week. Im ready to get back to the normal craziness, but worried as well.  It just seems like sometimes I could very possibly die...of stress.  I mean, its bad enough that Im on the liver transplant list.  Whats worse is that its all silly things.  Well most of it is.  Things that I shouldn't be and have never been so stressed about.  But now all of a sudden, they are bringing me down.  Not a good feeling.

I am trying to find a positive for every negative.  Seems to help.  For example, I am going to miss my baby sisters graduation.  Its insane how upset I am over this.  You would think she was my child.  Well, she pretty much is. There is a bond there, that is unbreakable.  Stronger that just being my little sister.  She is one of my very best friends and I am so proud of her for making it this far.  I love you bug!  I made her promise that she will never again walk down an isle without me!  And the positive of it all, is that once shes graduated, shes going to be living here with me.  That is a positive right?  I'm joking!  We are all looking forward to having here here!  Cant wait!

Then there is my husband.  Who worked more overtime than regular time last week. And did it all while he was sick!  God I love him.  He was pretty much gone all the time.  And then one night, Anthony asked me if Daddy still lived at home.  Talk about heartbreaking.  I think it hit hard with David.  The positive...a whole week of vacation.  He got to take Ant to and from school. He was home when the boys got up and when they went to bed.  We ate as a family.  We were a family.  No, we are a family!

There is so much more.  Mom is off who knows where.  But she said she will be here next.  Leon is still in Iraq but will be home soon.  And the best news of the month!  Dad is done with his radiation.  Thank GOD!  That was the biggest relief.  So good to hear good news.  Still have a friend who just had surgery.  One who just got his new liver and a ton of friends still waiting for their transplants.  But all this transplant talk could get me sidetracked.  Ill save it for my next entry.  

So much more to get out, but going to stop here.  Lunches are made, dishes are cleaned, boys are sleeping soundly.  Time to cuddle up with the Mr and enjoy having him home when I fall asleep!  Sweet Dreams!

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