March 20, 2011

Stress and Struggles

Ok so a while back I was all pumped up and ready to shed some pounds. I had a plan and was going to stick to it. Yeah, that plan flew out the window. I have never been a stress eater. The Lord knows I have had lots of stress in my life too. But guess what people, I have gone to the dark side. And it shows.

If I was going to make excuses, here's what I'd say. First things first, I am no longer exclusively breastfeeding. That's when I noticed a change. Then I found out my Dad was sick and I kid you not, I buried my head in girl scout cookies. I'm so glad they are a once a year deal. Then came buying our first home. This was the icing on my cake. Well actually if there were icing, I would have eaten it by now. My stress levels went through the roof. And the weight piled on.

But to be honest, if you know me, you know I already have a ton of diet restrictions. I don't eat a lot of red meat, my sodium intake is minimum. Most everything I make is all fresh not processed and I drink mostly water. Now its only water. Gave up sodas for lent and think I'll keep it this way! I track my food and water intake. On an average day I'm only eating 900-1200 calories. Never go over on my fat or carbs unless we eat out. But then when you eat out you pretty much go over on everything. And still the weight piles on.

I've also been walking. Not much but 2 or 3 times a week. My usual route is 3.4 miles. And of course its not like I'm sitting around all day. These boys keep me going from the time they wake up, to the time they go to bed. But all my efforts have failed. I have gained 8 lbs in the last 6 months.12 in the whole year. And when I say I'm almost back at my pre-pregnancy weight, I'm not bragging. I'm pretty sure its the stress. As that's the only thing that has changed recently. Besides the size of my behind.

I'm dreading going to the transplant clinic next week because I know exactly what my Dr will say. I know I need to lose weight, obviously. I thought having a liver disease was going to suck the life out of me, but instead it has me all pudgy. My primary Dr told me to go low fat. The only problem is everything low fat is crazy high in sodium. Which my transplant Dr told me to stay away from. My transplant dietitian told me to eat more veggies and fruits but they all contain a lot of Vitamin K. And my hematologist told me I have to avoid that. What the hell. I don't know what I'm going to do, I just k.ow I need to do something. Obviously blogging at 3 am isn't going to help, so I'll stop now! Much love to you all!

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