January 28, 2011

Today I'm thankful

One thing the Doctors have always told me was how quickly thinks change with Liver Disease. They have prepared me for the worst. They have never held back and said its not that bad. I know its going to get bad. Really bad. I have watched a few of my new liver buddies struggle. It breaks my heart! And it opens my eyes to my reality.

Today while I waited for my scans, I ran into an older lady who was beyond exhausted. I overheard her son(I think) telling her that they had to go back to do the EKG first. I could see how she was dreading the trek back across the hospital. But she gathered her strength and went on her way.

They called me back a few mins later. I have done these tests 3 times now. The poor tech was worried about getting the ultrasound gel on my shirt. I told her I was not afraid of a little gel! After having ultrasounds twice a week for the second 20 weeks of my pregnancy, I am no stranger to the goop:)

I still don't know how they read those things. With a baby, you see the bones, but with organs...I'm lost. She did say that my spleen sits out front and not tucked away in its proper place. It's kinda out in the open. Another reason to be careful. Another reason I can't roughhouse with the boys and do anything that might risk getting hit there. Don't need it bursting!

When I was all done, I went back through the waiting room. The lady was back. I asked her if it was her last stop on her evaluation. She said yes. Her son seemed rather annoyed at the process. Or maybe he was just tired. I wished her all the best and went on my way. I realized that one day that would be me. Tired, frail, half awake under a blanket in a waiting room. I pray she gets listed soon. I pray her wait isn't long. I pray her family supports her always. I pray the same for everyone waiting for a transplant. Shot out to all the organ donors out there. There's no better gift than the gift of life! Thank You! I know I say a lot how bad I just want to get sick and get it over with. And somedays I say I don't ever want to get sick. Today I am thankful for being "stable". I get to come home to my boys and play and laugh. Sleep in my comfy bed next to my husband. That is if the boys are piled between us. Today I am alive. And for that I'm thankful.

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