Moving forward

The mail has been good to me lately. More good news than bills this week! Knock on wood. No seriously, knock on wood.

Today I got my notice for my Disability hearing. We are coming up on a year since I first applied. I remember at first feeling really bad for applying. I knew that who ever got my case would take one look at my age and deny me. Who knows if that is why I was denied twice already, but I'm just saying. So anyways in a months time, I should have a final answer.

I'm really nervous about it though. Because I know most people take one look at me and cant believe that I am sick. I mean my own Doctors tell me that I am looking very healthy and they know more about whats wrong with me than I do. I just hope the judge hears me out. Because if he denies me and my Dr has already deemed me disabled and unfit for work, I don't know what the heck I am going to do.  I am bringing in bills one on top of another.  I have medication that I can't, literally live without.  Unless I feel like playing roulette with my life and seeing if I throw a blood clot or not that day.   And God forbid I do get as sick as Ive been warned about, there will only be more bills. 

Now I have to figure out what to wear.  I read that while there isn't really a dress code, there are many do and dont's of the courtroom.  I was also give many tips from the transplant team as far as being prepared with notes of my conditions and reasons why I am unable to work.   So that just gives me more things to add to my To do lists, but its up at the top.  I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it.  I hope I don't cry.  Id be a mess.  I'd be approved on insanity!