Who needs green grass

You know that saying: The grass is always greener on the other side? I read some where: If the grass is greener on the other side, then fertilize your grass. I don't think I could have said it any better.

Sometimes its just easier to wish we could just have what everyone else has. To jump the fence instead of making what you already have better. We fight so hard to get to where we are, why skip out on our lives now.

Makes me thankful for what I do have. After all, I have a beautiful and supporting family, some people have no one. I have a husband who loves me, so many marriages don't make it. I have bills up the yin yang, but really that just means, I have a home for them to be mailed to and that I am fortunate enough to be able to see a dr.

I am here and happy and somewhat healthy. I'm surrounded by beautiful people. I have a place to rest my head at night and I know that my children are happy and healthy. I have been luck to have this much already. So what if my grass is a little brown, when I want greener grass Ill go get me some fertilizer ;)

Read More

Time to play the lotto

No wonder my hair is falling out. Although Id rather it just go gray :) One of the biggest suckiest parts of being sick.. Even though its not my fault, I still have to pay for it!

Read More

Shark Eggs

How cool is this!

Read More

wedding vows

I was laying in bed the other night thinking about how much it sucks to be "sick". How much life changes and all the rules that come along with it. And then I though of my wedding vows.

When you get married you are so caught up in the fairytale of becoming husband and wife that you might forget the bigger picture. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

To have and to hold becomes having to deal with mood swings and crazy emotions. And to hold me when I am crying because I am beyond frustrated with everything.

For better or for worse. This one pretty much explains itself. There are good days and bad days.

For richer or poorer. This ones a killer. Gone are the days of impulse buying and gifts just because... and in are the days of feeling guilty because of the pile of medical bills sitting on the desk.

In sickness and in health. Being able to keep just a little bit of the way life was before you get sick is so hard. Rules change and you cant do half of the things you used to do together. No more having a few beers or you just don't have the energy to go out. Trying to find the balance between the two and not just being the sick wife is hard, but very essential to keeping life from falling apart.

To love and to cherish. Becomes having to prove that you still love me even though I am such a burden on the family. Its so easy to feel unloved and guilty, when you are the one who is sick. But being sick reminds you just how precious life really is and how much you should cherish all that you have.

And till death do us part. Another thing that hits you in the face. Death. Its very possible and you cant avoid it. I always felt like nothing would stop me. Then you start to think of what you would leave behind and if the people you love know just how much they mean to you. And what you would want your husband or wife to do after you are gone.

I have been so blessed in finding a man who lives up to these vows. The paths we have taken together havent always been easy ones. We have faced pain and sadness as well as life and happiness. But it has always been faced together. And for me that has made all the difference!

Read More