November 20, 2009

Its a date!

Well I met with a surgeon yesterday about the lump in my neck. My nerves were shot going in there. I dont know why. I was more calm when they were telling me that I was going to have a liver biopsy...though my neck. Atleast this time, there will be no wire being threaded down my jugular, though my heart and into my liver! But I was still a mess {on the inside}. I had the boys with me, so had to play it cool!

Anyways. At first the surgeon was not sure why I wanted it taken out. He was "pretty" sure it was just a lypoma. Which is a scary word for fat deposit. But once he got my newest images, he agreed that it needed to come out. And admited that he had no idea what it is.

It went from a lypoma, to a hematoma and is now being called a tumor. I dont care what its called as long as they get it out of my neck, or shoulder, what ever you want to call that area. He did say that it is IN my muscle, so that complicated the surgery, but that he could and would still do it for me. We went over all the risks and he said that there could be some muscle and nerve damage but it was rare.

I went down and got registered and did all my pre admissions paperworks and labs. So now all I have to do is show up on the 30th at 6 freaking 30 in the morning. And ofcourse, I have a whole list of instructions to follow prior to then. Im relived its finally happening, but afraid of going under again. And it looks like David wont be able to be there again, which makes it 10 times more scary. Waking up, alone after surgeries, is shitty. Its nice to wake up to a face and know everythings alright. And its so much easier to close your eyes, knowing that he will be there when I wake up.

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