April 23, 2009

Nervous much?

I'm having my biopsy today. And even though I know its not a big surgery. I'm scared out of my mind. All I cant think about it what if something goes wrong. Will the people I love, know that I loved them? Will they know just how special they are to me? Will they know how blessed I felt to have been loved by them? If my boys have to grow up with out me, will they know that they were the bright lights that kept my heart alive? Will Anthony remember my face and all the fun we have had. Will Alex know just how much I prayed for him and loved him?

My family has kept me strong. I couldn't get though any of this without them. David is my solid foundation. With out him I would have come crashing down years ago. My boys are everything to me. I want to have more fun with them. I have been so snappy with Ant lately. I promise to loosen up a bit and just enjoy him. Because he is so full of life and has such a good heart. And Alex. My baby. I cherish the time we spend together. Nursing has been such a blessing to my soul. I hate that I get frustrated at times. Because I really to love the time we are together. Those eyes melt my heart. I have been blessed. My sisters can always make me feel better and my brothers always checking up on me. Who would have though we would be so close after all that we have been through.

Together they have all given me faith. That what I have is something to good to lose now. Strength to fight because its worth fighting for. Love. They have loved me and I hope that they all know just how much I love them too!

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